I wanted to address something that a lot of you guys have mentioned in concern to me about my current state of mind. IN the sense I may be MANIC. Well yes I kind of am. I would be manic right now if I wasn’t on my medication. What I am experiencing is a lesser form of the same symptoms because my lithium deals really well with the highs. I guess I want to confirm there is nothing to worry about. I am safe, I am fine. Really honestly I mean that. I am supervised and I am keeping myself strictly business. I was well aware of this recent surge in energy, less need for sleep and in fact I probably caused it. I realised through My seasonal effective disorder that the sun is my best friend. Its like medicine. So I have been harnessing its incredible power to make me happy and lift my mood by getting as much sunshine as I can. Maybe I overdosed. I feel myself getting slightly higher each day. Although I can confirm that what I feel now is not a full blown out of control manic episode. In fact if I wasn’t on my medication it would be 100 times worse. Thats why I choose to take my lithium. I guess being as selff aware as I am is incredibly valuable. Sure I have doctors appointments once a week and therapist once a week so I am under professional supervision too. I stress theres no need to worry on your part. Am I worried…. NO. But I am cautious. When I go up theres two voices in my head. Theres the real me… then theres manic barbie. The higher I go up the volume on real me gets turned down ad manic barbie becomes quite overpowering. So right now they have even pull. Manic barbie is certaintly trying to take the rains. But as I said its not a manicc episode. Just a tiny baby one. So I am careful. If im not payingn attention suddenly its 2am and I am yet to take my meds because manic barbie has kept me well distracted. .SO I learn not to turn my back. I start wanting to go out and have fun. Yesterday I ran and danced in the rain. It was amazing. I felt alive. In a good way. I know the urge to innduldge these moments of happiness )euphoria) elated mood. Because I spend far more time in depression. I will start to fall into depression as autum nears. I hope this year it wont be so severe because I am on a third mood stabiliser which is meant to be lithiums counter part for depression. I have high hopes for lamotragine! Because… I have had no release from the depression in over 20 years. None what so ever. I had also been advised that because this year I hadnt gone up as high then maybe I wouldnt go down as low. May I remind you all it was only a few months ago I checked myself volunatrily into a psych ward because I could sense an up episode coming on. I was proud of that. I would do it again if I felt I needed it. Dont get me wrong if I wanted to id be out partying, staying up late, giving in to these intense reckless urges and throwing caution to the wind. I could very easily do that. Its taking all of my will power to not. I am fightin gmy hardest right now to stay on track since I left hospital. You dont have to be depressed or suicidal to struggle. Sometimes when you feel the best you have ever felt in your life is when you need to be fightin gthe hardest to keep yourself grounded. Thats where each time I am faced with a choice to endulge my manic urges I remind myself of what I want mmost! Thats where you guys come in. Reading the coments on each post you remind me why I do this. Because when I tell my manic mind im doing it for myself it tells me who gives a fuck about that! Lets enjoy the here and now! Forget about the future!

You guys keep me grounded. You remind me with each like, comment and follow what I am really doing this for. So thank you all and your kind supportive words mean more to me now than ever! You are the backbone of my strength. You are cheering me on and that just makes me feel like I dont want to let you down. I could face you all if I made the wrong choice. Your making me chose to be strong and be more than my illness because you tell me I am. I know normally I would say expectation is extremely counter productive. But in this case, It works a treat! 🙂 thank you again!

Oh and just to clarify the terminology! I have never actually been MANIC. You can only experience true mania if you have had psychotic epsiodes. Only found in bipolar 1. Their depressive episodes are not as low. Then theres Bipolar 2 with no psychosis (only difference betweeen the two) And they only experience a Hypermania. Basically the same as mania but never loosing touch with reality. Their lows are more severe. I normally say mania when I am talking about my UP ohases because people get that. But ive decided to commit to using the correct terminology so no one gets confused. I just want to make sure you know exactly what I am talking about!

49 thoughts on “BIPOLAR DISORDER | How I know Im not MANIC

  1. I like what you guys are up also. Such smart work and reporting! Carry on the superb works guys I?¦ve incorporated you guys to my blogroll. I think it will improve the value of my site 🙂

  2. Wow, superb weblog layout! How lengthy have you been blogging for?

    you make running a blog glance easy. The full glance of your web site is
    great, as neatly as the content material!

  3. Its like you read my mind! You appear to know so much about this, like you wrote the book in it or something.
    I think that you can do with some pics to drive the message home a
    bit, but other than that, this is magnificent blog.
    A fantastic read. I will definitely be back.

  4. I am extremely impressed with your writing skills as well
    as with the layout on your blog. Is this a paid theme or did you modify it yourself?
    Either way keep up the excellent quality writing, it’s rare to see a great blog like this one today.

  5. Somebody essentially assist to make critically articles I might state.
    That is the very first time I frequented your website page and so far?
    I surprised with the research you made to create this actual post incredible.
    Fantastic activity!

  6. Hello there, I found your website via Google
    at the same time as looking for a comparable matter, your site came up, it
    appears to be like good. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.

    Hello there, just become aware of your weblog via Google, and found that it is
    truly informative. I’m gonna be careful for
    brussels. I will be grateful for those who continue this in future.
    Lots of people can be benefited out of your writing. Cheers!

  7. I need to to thank you for this very good read!!
    I definitely loved every little bit of it. I have you saved
    as a favorite to look at new stuff you post…

  8. I was extremely pleased to find this website. I want to to thank
    you for ones time for this particularly fantastic read!!
    I definitely savored every bit of it and I have you saved as a favorite to check out new stuff on your blog.

  9. of course like your web site however you need to test the spelling on several of your posts.
    Several of them are rife with spelling issues and I in finding it very troublesome to inform
    the truth then again I will surely come again again.

  10. Hi, Neat post. There is an issue with your web site in internet explorer, might test this?IE still is the marketplace chief and a good component to people will pass over your wonderful writing due to this problem.

  11. I found your weblog website on google and examine just a few of your early posts. Continue to maintain up the superb operate. I simply further up your RSS feed to my MSN News Reader. Searching for ahead to studying extra from you later on!?

  12. Hello there! This post couldn’t be written any better!
    Reading this post reminds me of my previous room
    mate! He always kept talking about this. I will forward this
    article to him. Fairly certain he will have a
    good read. Thanks for sharing!

  13. Yesterday, while I was at work, my cousin stole my apple ipad and tested to see if it
    can survive a forty foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My apple ipad is now destroyed and she
    has 83 views. I know this is totally off topic but I had to share it with someone!

  14. Wow that was odd. I just wrote an really long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t appear.
    Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyways, just wanted
    to say superb blog!

  15. Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wished to say that I have really enjoyed browsing your blog posts.
    In any case I’ll be subscribing to your rss feed
    and I hope you write again very soon!

  16. I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own blog and was wondering what all is
    required to get setup? I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a
    pretty penny? I’m not very internet smart so I’m not 100% positive.
    Any recommendations or advice would be greatly appreciated.

  17. Hey there! I know this is kind of off topic but I
    was wondering which blog platform are you using for this website?
    I’m getting fed up of WordPress because I’ve had issues with
    hackers and I’m looking at options for another platform. I
    would be great if you could point me in the direction of a
    good platform.

  18. You actually make it seem so easy with your presentation but
    I find this matter to be really something which I think I would never
    understand. It seems too complicated and extremely broad for me.
    I’m looking forward for your next post, I will
    try to get the hang of it!

  19. Hey would you mind letting me know which webhost you’re
    utilizing? I’ve loaded your blog in 3 completely different web browsers and I must say this blog loads a lot faster then most.
    Can you recommend a good web hosting provider at a honest price?
    Many thanks, I appreciate it!

  20. I’m more than happy to uncover this website. I want to to
    thank you for ones time due to this wonderful read!!
    I definitely enjoyed every little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to check out new things
    on your website.

  21. I do not even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was great.
    I don’t know who you are but definitely you are going to a famous blogger if you aren’t
    already 😉 Cheers!

  22. I think this is one of the most significant info for me.
    And i am glad reading your article. But should remark
    on some general things, The site style is ideal, the articles is really nice :
    D. Good job, cheers

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *